When I saw the #IceCubeChallenge trending on Tik Tok during the depths of quarantine, I knew the girls were starting to lose it. People were sticking ice cubes up inside their vagina, some saying they heard it would “make them tighter,” some clearly engaging in this strange practice for clout, but for others this seemed to be a pleasure thing. This practice is dangerous and can lead to infection (some things should go without saying – drinking bleach won’t cure coronavirus, and sticking an ice cube up your hoo ha is just a bad idea).
That #IceCubeChallenge did bring one thing to light though: that ya’ll were BORED and HORNY, and clearly looking for ways to spice things up.
The madness of COVID-19 was the perfect time to “mastur” your masturbation routine (LOL ;)). But guest what? It still is!
As a self-declared self-pleasure expert, here are 6 masturbation tips and tricks you may not have heard before to help you find the best way to optimize yo’ sexy time!
Masturbation Tip #1. Switch. It. TF. Up
And by this I mean switch it AaAAaaaaLlLlLLlLLlllllLL up. If you’re engaging in manual masturbation and putting those fingers to use, there are so many different ways to touch yourself. Slow, fast, rubbing, tapping, clit, g-spot, why not try it all! And when you find the 2, 3, 4 sensations that feel the best, take note of that, add ‘em to your routine. If you’re a fan of vibrators, some have different speeds, some buzz while others rumble, one I just bought even uses airwave technology providing a sensation I’ve never quite felt before.
You can also switch up your bodily position. Laying down with your legs spread (what I call “the missionary of masturbation”) may logically seem like the best way to access your vulva, but it can get BOR-ING. There are tons of other positions where you get to feel yourself just as much, if not more: sitting up, on your side, etc. I personally know women who can’t orgasm on their backs, and can only get there while masturbating on their stomachs. Every body is different, but if you’ve been unable to reach climax this may be an adjustment you want to make.
A position we receive a lot of good reports about is legs-up, in the tub, using the bathtub technique. What’s extra cool about water masturbation in the tub is that you control the temperature of the water that touches you.
If you want to incorporate temperature play in other ways (without, of course, sticking an ice cube in your vaginal canal), try putting your sex toys in the fridge, or running them under some hot water. Metal is the best material for sex toys if you want to change their temperature, and you can also look into toys that automatically heat themselves.
Masturbation Tip #2. Live on the ~EDGE~
Edging is THE KEY to the best masturbation experience of your life. This practice involves using your hand or an object to get yourself close to orgasm, and then mustering up all the self control you have to either slow down or stop before you come. The idea is that you want to get close, stop, get close, stop, get close, stop as many times as you can. Edging is a way to stretch out your alone time so you can feel pleasure for longer, and when you finally orgasm after edging it’s going to be more powerful than it otherwise would have.
Looking for something to do when you’re edging and have to bring yourself to a halt? This takes us to our next of our masturbation tips…
Masturbation Tip #3. Explore your erogenous zones
That’s right, you are NOT limited to your g-spot and your clitoris.
Your entire body is engaged during partnered sex. Why wouldn’t the same apply for sex with yourself?
Your erogenous zones are the pleasure points on your body that are sensitive because they have more nerve endings. Many of these are the same regions you touch/have touched during partnered sex: your neck, your lips, your neck, your toes. Some (like the scalp, lower back, stomach, wrist and armpit) you might have been sleeping on. So go ahead, if you like being choked, choke yourself! If you have sex toys, feel free to move them all around to each of these zones and feel those vibrations all over.
And if you’re like me and have super sensitive nipples, think about investing in nipple clamps. These are perfect for when your hands are touching other areas. Some people find the pressure of the clamp a bit painful, but you can try to avoid this pain by making sure you’re aroused before you put them to use, making sure you have the right clamps for your nipple size, and using clamps that don’t pinch too hard. If you’re at home and looking for a DIY option, you can try a bobby pin, or wrapping a rubber band around some chopsticks. Just be sure to be careful, apply pressure slowly, and don’t hurt yourself.
Masturbation Tip #4. Grab the lube
Missing the way it felt to receive oral sex right about now? Struggling to fit fingers, objects, or sex toys in your vagina? It’s dilemmas like these that make me say Hallelubeyah! that I have a bottle of the best personal lubricant. If you can’t be quarantined with a sexual partner, this is the next best thing. Both internal and external stimulation is made better when made wetter.
Before you buy your bottle, you should know that silicone lubes can break down silicone sex toys. It might be best to stick with an oil or water-based option for that reason.
Masturbation Tip #5. Rock yo’ body
I’m not sure how else to describe this practice besides just telling you to hump your finger/toy. By getting those hips moving, up towards your belly button and back down to their resting position, you’re putting your PC (pubococcygeus) muscles to use. And it makes sense that this would feel so good. For some, when we’re close to orgasm with a partner (either through clitoral or g spot stimulation) our hips just instinctively want to rock. Translating this to self-stimulation is one way you can level up your masturbation routine.
Masturbation Tip #6. Look at yourself in a mirror
If this doesn’t convince you IDK what will: the queen, Amber Rose herself, swears by using a mirror while masturbating. Cumming to the image of yourself is the DEFINITION of self-love. Plus it’s kind of like natural porn, no worries about if it’s ethically sourced or if the actors were paid fairly. As the director, producer, and star of this adult film you can know that you treat yourself right! Plus, it’s super hot.
“I’m the queen of that… I highly suggest it by the way. Just go home and masturbate in the mirror. It’s f–king amazing. You should try it.”AMBER ROSE, LOVELINE WITH AMBER ROSE
And there you have it, my favorite 6 masturbation tips! The best thing about my personal journey of collecting masturbation tips is that my list is ever-growing. The more people I talk to, the more I learn. The way the world denies conversations about female sexuality keeps us from maximizing our pleasure, but us Babes With the Power are starting to change that.
So PLEASE, feel free to comment below. What are some practices you incorporate when masturbating? What makes you feel good? Have you tried any of these masturbation tips? Any others you’re extra excited to share?
About the Author
Tara Michaela Jones (she/her) is a black, queer, student and sex educator based in New York. She is currently in the process of earning a bachelor's degree in Gender and Sexuality Studies from New York University. You can find her @tara.michaela on Instagram or her Sweet Nuthin's website at taramichaela.com.