icon-account icon-glass
Black Friday Sale | Save 20% w/ code BFF20

How To Get Turned On

Posted by Babe With The Power on

The study of the anatomy of female arousal teaches us that several factors — both physical and emotional, and unique to each person — play a role in getting us aroused and turned on. Taking this a step further, we gotta ask: is it possible to determine our own personal formula for arousal? Because if we can learn how to get turned on … and master it … doesn’t that mean we can maximize our flow of pleasure???

To help answer these questions, let’s look at two of the leading theories to help you discover (and repeat!) the inner workings of your arousal and eroticism: Stages of Female Arousal and Erotic BluePrints. These theories seek to explain what happens to our bodies when we are aroused, and how to reach arousal – solo or with a partner – in accordance with our erotic style.

The payoff? When we can identify the flow and style of our arousal and exactly how to get turned on, we are accessing the most powerful parts of our pleasure.

The Four Stages of Female Arousal

Typical arousal for vulva owners comes in stages, as suggested by William Masters & Virginia Johnsons 1960’s findings in the book “Human Sexual Response.” The four stages are Excitement, Plateau, Orgasm, and Resolution.

The Four Stages of Female Arousal - what happens when we get turned on
Human Sexual Response Cycle

Excitement Phase:

In the excitement phase, a vulva owner would start to experience the arousal signs that we listed above. In more understandable terms, getting hot & bothered (we’re about it). We love making our Bomb Balm Arousal Balm part of this phase to help bring sensation, blood flow, and sensitivity to the clitoris for that extra explosion of fun.

Plateau Phase:

This phase is reached when we keep the action going for long enough, leading us closer to orgasm. As we described, this can typically take up to 20 minutes, if not more, to keep consistent stimulation and build up. We love using The WaterSlyde for slow, consistent, and powerful build up in the Plateau phase!

Orgasm Phase:

An orgasm is simply the contraction & spasm of the pelvic floor muscles after building tension When you’ve been in the plateau phase and you reach the “Peak”, your body releases all the build up and gives you what we classically know as an orgasm!

Volcano blowing gif - symbolism for an orgasm, the 3rd stage of arousal

Resolution Phase:

This is totally that post-orgasm phase where you lay back and take a big deep breath, letting everything (like your muscles & pelvis) relax. As you go unwinding, the swelling & blood flow from arousal dissipate and your vulva returns to normal size and color.

Next time you experience pleasure or explore stimulation, take note of your body and how the stages move through you. What (or who) stimulates you when completing the four phases? Do you find that you move to a couple of the phases, and have difficulty reaching the others? 

The Erotic BluePrint

The Erotic Blueprint is a generous way to discover how you get turned on, and getting the tools to lead you through the 4 stages of arousal successfully – ultimately to learn about yourself and how to connect more deeply with a partner.

Created by award-winning Somatic Sexologist Jaiya (as seen on Netflix’s Sex, Love, and Goop), the Erotic BluePrints came to life when she found that arousal was stimulated in different ways for different people. Couples often have different erotic blueprints, creating a mismatch in arousal, and evidently a mismatch in the sex life they each desired. Surprisingly, it’s common for one’s top Erotic BluePrint to be his or her partner’s lowest, explaining why they couldn’t properly arouse each other. When we understand our partner’s blueprint (and our own) we can find common ground to arouse and satisfy each other. 

The Erotic Blueprint helps to explain how we get turned on


If you’re an energetic blueprint, arousal may barely have anything to do with the “traditional” like genitals, sex, and nudity. You may be more turned on by the thrill, softness, and flow of energy that leads up to it. It could be that breath by your ear when a lover slowly kisses your neck, or that thoughtful text someone sends before they see you. If this is you, we recommend taking a dip with The WaterSlyde aquatic stimulator to relax, build arousal, and see where your mind and body can take you. 


This is someone who is down for the SENSES. Someone who is sensual in their blueprint may love to play with taste, touch, smell, sight, and hearing. Think blindfolds, putting on some sexy tunes, or having whip cream eaten off of them (discover more ideas in our Arousal Tips & Tricks). We recommend our Bomb Balm Arousal Balm to give you tingly hot/cold feelings to elevate your senses by rubbing it in spots like your clitoris, earlobes, and nipples (it’s equally as good for him, too – just apply it to the frenulum on his penis).


If you’re sexual, you’re ready to get down & dirty right now! You’re someone who’s turned on by what we “traditionally” think of, like genital stimulation, seeing someone naked, or making the run for orgasm. Per Jaya, this doesn’t mean there’s a lack of depth in sexuality, just a simplicity. You know how to get turned on fast, and know exactly what you want. More power to you, babe!

"Do you wanna be tied up" - Kinky is one of the 5 Erotic Blueprints


Do you need to get out of your head and into your body, babe? You may be the kinky type. Whether your kinks are psychological, physical, or both, you may feel excited about doing the taboo or the thrilling. This can put you in your body, turn you on, and help you forget that you have dishes to do later – I mean, playing with ropes is way more exciting!

Shape Shifter:

If all the above is exciting to you, you’re a shapeshifter! You have the unique super power of being turned on by all the blueprints, making you an exciting lover for all. You find ease and new opportunity with all modalities, making your erotic experience arousing in more ways than one.

Curious to learn about your own Erotic BluePrint? Check out Somatic Sexologist Jaiya’s free Erotic Blue Print quiz!

Knowing Ourselves Is Powerful

"I'm learning so much already" - from Parks & Rec

When we understand how to get turned on, and the stages at which this happens, we gain an abundance of respect and information for our body and arousal. No matter the blueprint, we each have a unique formula to make arousal an exciting experience in our lives. When exploring our blueprints, we can then notice our specific way of exploring the stages of arousal, our anatomy, and what exactly gets us to the sweet spot.

What’s your sweet spot, babe?

Welcome Image

Welcome To Lovability

We Make Lovin' Fun

Get Started

Stay up to date with all our tips + tricks!

Your Lovability

Elevate your experience with these products