Whether you're a seasoned veteran or just starting out, here's a quick beginner's guide with 6 steps for how to introduce anal play into your sex life.
Erotica is the portrayal of human sensuality, sex, intimacy, and sexuality - in art, books, film, and more. Let's better understand it, challenge the stigma around it, and explore erotica to safely imagine and define our own desires, likes / dislikes, and sexual boundaries.
If you’re on social media these days, you might be hearing more about “bimbos” or “bimbofication.” Furthermore, you might have even heard of “himbos” and “thembos.”
This year, there’s been a surge of people - mostly among Generation Z - calling themselves Tik Tok Bimbos. You might be familiar with this if you follow creators like @chrissychlapecka, @fauxrich, @griffinmaxwellbrooks and @balarotten. These Tik Tokers are comedians and give life advice, makeup tutorials and more. Check out their content if you don’t follow them already!
If you know what the word “bimbo” means, you might be wondering why anyone would want to be called that. According to Urban Dictionary, a bimbo is a “physically attractive but unintelligent woman.” Thus, “bimbofication” is the process of becoming hot, and therefore less intelligent.
Obviously, the term bimbo is sexist because it implies that all hot women are dumb, and smart women aren’t hot. This term further objectifies women by downplaying their intelligence and accomplishments.
Tik Tok’s Bimbo Movement
The term bimbo has long been used by men to define women based on their looks. Now, Tik Tok Bimbos are taking the sexism out of the term, and turning it into a movement. They’re stopping men from judging women, femmes and LGBTQ+ people based on how they dress or act.
Labels like this have stigmatized women’s dress, behavior and/or looks for centuries. Terms like “whore”, “slut” and “bitch” are also used to put women in a box and stigmatize our behavior. Check outCan You Be Desired AND Respected?for more on stigmatization of women’s sexuality.
When certain aspects of our lives are stigmatized, it makes it difficult for us to remove ourselves from the “single story” that men have created for us in their heads. These stigmas have real life consequences, too – in dating, careers, and all aspects of life.
What Bimbo Tik Tok Wants You To Know
Here’s what you’ll see if you’re following Tik Tok Bimbos:
Being Hot: New age bimbos, himbos and thembos are becoming the sexiest version of themselves – not to please men or other people, but to make themselves happy.
Sexy Outfits: You’ll see a lot of hot pink, crop tops and high heels. Everyone has their own style. You can be a goth bimbo, an ultra-femme bimbo, or a buff masculine himbo.
Human Rights: Today’s bimbos aren’t dumb – they are activists for human rights. They support LGBTQ people, Black Lives Matter, sex workers, etc. And they won’t be silent about their opinions.
Being Your Truest Self: Bimbos aren’t stupid, though they may forget things and be a bit ditzy. But that’s okay, because they own it, and love themselves anyways. They don’t judge others either.
Anyone can be a bimbo. Today’s bimbofication movement isn’t just for blonde white girls – the long-regarded reference to bimbos. Everyone is invited to be their hottest self – no matter their race, gender, disability or sexual orientation.
Taking Back Sexist Labels
Tik Tok creators are taking back a term that was used to diminish smart, beautiful women for years. This paves way to reclaim more sexist terms – like hoe, slut and whore – and to get rid of the stigmas that go with them.
When we take back language that was previously used against us, we take the power away from the people who try to oppress us. We give them less room to insult us and shoot us down. We show them that we don’t care what we think.
Bimbo Is Just The Start
Here are examples of ways you can reclaim other sexist terms and phrases:
Bossy/Bitch: You’re assertive. You know what you want and you ask for it.
Slut: You like to show some skin, and what’s wrong with that. You’re hot! Flaunt what you’ve got.
Whore/Hoe: Why should you be ashamed of having sex? Good for you! Your body count and who you sleep with doesn’t define you. You can have sex with whoever you want!
Walk of Shame: Don’t be ashamed of having sex. Blast the song “I Just Had Sex” as loud as you can while you leave your hookup and think “Walk of Fame” instead.
You get the picture. Don’t let sexist terms define you. Be a slut, whore and a bimbo. Dress how you want and have sex with who you want. Let’s strip away the stigmas from these words so they can’t be used against us anymore. We should be able to use these words to empower each other.
Change with these terms won’t happen in a day, and it can be really difficult to take back hurtful words. As women, femmes and LGBTQ+ people reclaim these terms, we take back the power oppressors once had against us. We stop worrying about how men see us, and we are who we want to be. We can be hot and smart, and we don’t need anyone’s approval.
So put on those heels, fishnets, crop tops, and lipstick. Be the hottest version of yourself- for you, not for the eyes of men.
About The Author
Veronica Mohesky is a University of Missouri graduate with a degree in Emerging Media Journalism. You can find her previous journalistic work at veronicamohesky.com. She graduated in December 2020 and works for a public television stations as a digital media associate. Veronica loves to report on sexual health issues and believes it is important to have conversations to de-stigmatize sex, pleasure and STIs. You can find her on instagram at @veronicamohesky13.
The Madonna-Whore Complex forces women into two false categories: pure or desirable. We say: be yourself! When you own your sexuality, it is your choice to be who you want to be. Check out our tips for how to reframe how you think about yourself and the world.
For many women, birth control is a great way to avoid pregnancy, heavy periods, acne, anemia, and so much more. In fact, the CDC estimates that over 60% of women aged 15-49 use some kind of contraceptive. While the benefits of birth control are abundant, there are still many barriers for people who want the medication. Many people can’t get birth control methods because of stigmas, lack of insurance, or the price of doctors’ visits.
Dr. Sophia Yen means to change this. She is the co-founder and CEO of Pandia Health, which providesbirth control by mail (including free delivery to all 50 states)– along with goodies from other women-owned companies. Pandia Health has a variety of free or affordable options for people with or without insurance.
Dr. Sophia Yen of Pandia Health
Continuing ourPower Babe series, I’m excited to share with you the conversation I had with this stigma-smashing, affordable health care-providing boss babe.
What does it mean to you to be a Power Babe?
To have Power means the ability to effect change, money, influence. To do good. Babe = we’re all babes. Every woman is beautiful.
Tell us about Pandia Health. What made you want to start it?
Pandia Healthwas started to make women’s lives better. Pandia is the greek goddess of healing, moon, light. I made up the definition, it was fate! Pan is “every”, dia is “day”. We got you covered every day. Set it and forget it and let Pandia Health worry, so you don’t have to.
I was giving a talk to a bunch of doctors and kept getting asked, “why don’t women take their birth control?” One of the top reasons: they didn’t have it in their hands. They didn’t have time to run to the pharmacy during a proscriptive 7 day interval. If you go on the Saturday or Sunday before you run out, that’s too early. That’s 8-9 days. The insurance will only pay if you come back Monday. Women have #BetterThingsToDo than to run to the pharmacy each month.
Women shouldn’t have to suffer “pill anxiety”- the stress or fear of running out of birth control and having to run to the pharmacy each month. Get #PandiaPeaceOfMind.
Birth control delivered by mail – for free!
I know that some birth control-by-mail companies have run into insurance problems. Have you experienced any legal or insurance issues?
So the beautiful thing is that we are a medical group and a pharmacy. So we are targeted at birth control, but we can do it all. We’re not the birth control company, we are Pandia Health. And our bigger vision is to bethe brand that women trust with their health, starting with birth control, but growing with them for their whole uterine, vaginal life. So they’re not going to shut down a doctor’s office, they’re not going to shut down a pharmacy, whereas if we were just birth control, then they could maybe come after us in that situation.
The main kind of limitation is just simply telemedicine. Telemedicine is still kind of the wild, wild west, and different states have different rules. Some of them allow what we do, which is asynchronous telemedicine, but 17 states still don’t allow what we do.
What is asynchronous telemedicine, and what are the benefits?
Asynchronous is, you know, not real time. You just fill out a questionnaire, give us a blood pressure, give us a selfie, and a government ID to prove you are who you are.
Research has shown people are more likely to disclose information on a questionnaire then if I’m looking at you and saying, “How many sexual partners have you had? When was the last time you had sex?” With just a questionnaire, there’s no judgment, I’m just collecting information. And that is really the way medicine should be is no judgment, collecting information.
Why is it important for women to be able to access birth control by mail?
Pandia Health is about care, convenience, and confidentiality. We calculate women spend 10 weeks of their lives, going to the pharmacy, waiting for the drug and coming back home… #betterthingstodo.Birth control should just be delivered straight to you door.
I believe that birth control should be over the counter. And we’re making it even better than over the counter… it just comes in the mail. So it’s about making sure no one runs out of birth control.
It’s about making women’s lives better, and decreasing what I call pill anxiety. So it’s about care, convenience, confidentiality, preventing unplanned pregnancy, dignity, privacy – it’s, I think, it’s just so critical. And there are things we can do on the policy level, which is like allowing a woman to get a year’s supply at a time, and not having an insurance limit.
Who can benefit from accessing birth control online?
Well, certainly any conservative community, any religious community. And then also just people who are using birth control, not for birth control. So we’re trying toexpand the view of birth control, that it is a hormonal treatment, and that it can be used for polycystic ovarian syndrome. It can be used for endometriosis for bad, heavy, painful periods, dysmenorrhea, menorrhagia, and there should be no stigma to it.
Can you talk about Pandia Health’s stance on skipping periods?
So I think it’s important that anybody with a uterus bleeding one week out of four knows that you can make #periodsoptional, that you don’t have to bleed every single month. Every time you bleed, you risk endometrial cancer, because you have that growth of the lining. And every time you pop out an egg, you risk ovarian cancer.
Then there’s a colorectal cancer component. 30% of women with their period have some GI effect via diarrhea or constipation. When you’re affecting the GI system, making it run faster or slower, it’s going to have a greater risk of cancer. And now you know, we have 60 plus years of data showing that it decreases all these cancers, there is a slight increased risk of breast cancer, but the decreased risk and all these other cancers outweighs the increased risk in breast cancer.
And then also, for me, the quality of life. The number one cause of anemia is menstruation. The number one cause of missed school and work under the age of 25 is period related pains. And so if we get rid of the period, we increase those of us with uteruses’ productivity.
What has been your proudest moment with Pandia Health?
I love the fact that we haveeducational content on YouTube, with 260,000 views with no promotion, simply answering for some on birth control. I love that we’re bringing cutting edge, evidence-based medicine and great care to anybody with a uterus on birth control, taking my expertise and the experience of others to decrease side effects in future users and current users.
Pandia Health’s YouTube channel offers easy-to-understand birth control videos
Do you have any advice for aspiring entrepreneurs?
I think the key for aspiring entrepreneurs is make sure you enjoy what you’re doing. It’s gonna take longer than you think. Four to 10 years, possibly more, and choose your founders wisely because they’re going to be your family. Build your support network, build your network of people who are cheerleading for you. Build your network of people who will help you spread the word. Build your network of people to commiserate with other CEOs who are going through hardships, and build your support group of mentors, people who you can learn from and who you can seek advice, who are way ahead of you, or who are a couple steps ahead of you.
About The Author
A senior at the University of Missouri,Veronica Moheskyis studying Emerging Media Journalism. She is also a sexual health peer educator at her university. She works for local media outlets while in school, and you can find her other journalistic work at veronicamohesky.com. She will graduate in December 2020 and hopes to work for a nonprofit or public media outlet. Veronica loves to report on sexual health issues and believes it is important to have conversations to de-stigmatize sex, pleasure and STIs. You can find her on instagram at @veronicamohesky13.
Love has always been a multifaceted, inclusive journey for me. WithValentine’s Dayupon us, I can’t help but feel so grateful and empowered to express love in its many forms, and continue that energy throughout the year. And while Valentine’s Day has been commercialized to celebrate heterosexual, monogamous couples, today we’re free to celebrate love in an inclusive way.
What does inclusive love mean?
As a non-monogamous, bisexual woman with a massive network of family and close friends, I’ve got a lot of love to give. How do I shout love in my own way from the rooftops? To all my partners? My family? My fuck-buddies? Myself?
The thing is, love is love. It isn’t always romantic; it can be casual and from the heart. Love isn’t celebrated in one day; it can be celebrated ALWAYS. We can love in so many forms, and we aren’t confined to one definition. I’m talking to the couples, the multiple partners, the best friends, our families, and even a stranger in your Starbucks line! I’m taking you through the different ways and dynamics we experience love, and how to show that love each and every single day.
Self-Love Is The Most Important Love
Don’t let the couples facade fool you. Valentine’s Day should first and foremost be about giving sweet love to yourself, regardless of your partnered status. You see, love isn’t defined by what others feel for us — it STARTS with us. The more love we have for ourselves, the more love we can give to others.
Let me be clear: self-love looks different for everyone. I’m definitely not the kind of gal that can use a face mask and feel blissed out. Self-love can look like turning off your phone for some much needed stillness, or enjoying a coffee out by yourself. It can look like cleaning your space, and writing down your goals with incredible visualization of what you’re working towards.
As a sex blogger & pleasure activist, masturbation is the pinnacle of my idea of self-love. I practice self-pleasure often with a hot bath and myWaterSlyde. If you’re curious about my steamy bath ritual and want to learn how to make sweet sweet love to ya’self in the bath, check out my earlier article,Pleasure Revolution…The Bathtub Technique is Back!
Romance? We Got It. In So Many Forms!
Romantic love is one of the most dynamic things we can experience in life. Why? We experience a mix of romance, sexual attraction, & friendship all in one. *Cough Cough* the whole package some may say. Guess what? This kind of romantic love isn’t exclusive to monogamous couples, but inclusive to all styles of relationships! While love should be practiced year round, it’s normal to have interest in how people celebrate romantic love that looks different from yours.
Non-monogamy taught me that my love is absolutely boundless. I have love for many of my romantic partners, without the attachment of needing a relationship at this current moment. Learning their love languages, I make it a priority to express my gratitude in the ways that I can regardless of being present with each other.
With this wide understanding of love, there’s no right or wrong way to handle your relationships. Are you monogamous and want to be with your person for the rest of your life? That’s really beautiful, Lova babe. Are you polyamorous and go the extra mile to make all your partners feel loved & appreciated? That capacity to love is powerful. Are you single like me with multiple partners you can love without attachment? That’s also empowering AF.
Casual Love Is Still Love
Now, do we think love on Valentine’s has to be reserved for romance? Absolutely not! Ever since I was young, I made it a point to show gratitude to those I experience casual love with.
What is casual love?
I call it the type of love you have for your partners, or even your fuck buddies. The kind of love that says “I love and appreciate you for the good times, and orgasms we have together”. Send them a lovely card, voice memo, or gift to show them their presence is appreciated, even if it’s just for the sexy fun.
Give Love To All Your BFFs
Any relationship in our life works a lot like romantic love — they take commitment, dedication, and you should probablyknow each other’s love languages. Have that best friend you don’t know what you would do without? The girl-gang that gets you through it all? Your mentor that is your shining star?
Include them in your adoration and show them with something they would love! Is that a big hug? A bottle of wine? A cuddle puddle with the gals? A card declaring your admiration for simply being in your life? Yes to all. Although, I’m a sucker for giving the gift that gives back: Pleasure. Check out these8 Great Galentine’s Day Ideasto give the gift of self-care and pleasure to the Lova Babes you adore – any time of year!
Family Is Everything
Whether you want to express love for your family or chosen family, the time is now. I have the added benefit of having my sisters as my employees, and I take an opportunity to tell them everyday how grateful I am. Haven’t spoken to your grandparents in a while? Give them a call, it will make their week. Have someone in your chosen family that could use some support? Invite them over for a coffee or a zoom call to share space with them. Family, or the ones we choose as family, are truly our support systems.
Show Love, Just Because
Love knows no bounds, barriers, distances, or times. There is nothing more uplifting to me than showing love as an act of kindness to a stranger. Walking past someone? Pay them a compliment. Hold the door open for someone, or tip your Uber Eats driver a little extra during these times with a nice note. It’s truly priceless to extend the love we have to others, even if it’s a simple few seconds of our day.
You Don’t Need A Reason, Just Do It!
If there’s anything these times have taught us, it’s to express your love for those around you and yourself as much as possible. When we fill our cup with love, we also fill the same cup for those around us, radiating brightly with one of the most beautiful human emotions we could ever experience.
So, Lova Babe — how do you love? How do you enjoy showing your love? How can you include those around you in your love, and celebrate an inclusive Valentine’s Day? Ask yourself these easy questions, and go forward with love.
About The Author
Julieta Chiara is a sex-positive blogger and social media specialist, with a primary focus around female sexuality, empowerment, and normalization of sex education. She works with dozens of brands to write blogs and product reviews, create content, and raise awareness. You can find her on Instagram @julietachiara or her blog @ julietachiara.com.
‘Can I have sex on my period?’ Yes, of course! Even better, there are several benefits to having period sex. Not sure how to initiate period sex with your partner? We've got advice for that, too.
Your vagina is mean to smell like a vagina, so embrace your natural smell and learn how to keep your vulva healthy, happy and clean using just clean warm water.
We all know that Valentine’s Day is that day to “celebrate love” – gosh, we’ve been sharing valentines since grade school (ah, that cute someone you’ve been crushin’ on). But hey, there are so many different ways we show our love for one another, and showering all the ones we love – including ourselves – with gifts is just one of those ways. So we say “yay” for Galentine’s Day! – celebrated every February 13th, it’s an opportunity to appreciate the gal pals you love and admire.
Here’s our 2021 recommendations of Galentine’s Day gifts — fun and sexy gifts that celebrate feminism and support female-owned brands:
Mmm-kay. How cute of a statement is this ring?! Remind yourself and your besties to prioritize self love. Just because you love yourself doesn’t mean you don’t love others – self love isn’t selfish. Keep lovin’ on yourself no matter what. We love this sustainable brand that makes limited run products so make sure you get yours before they run out. You’re a vision, bb!
We love our boobies! And why not have a little reminder that we should love our bodies. No two women’s bodies are alike and this cheeky zipper pouch drives home this point. Perfect for storing everything from pencils to cosmetics, this bag puts the fun in feminism.
This one is for all your fierce friends who are out to change the world. Name a woman in history who didn’t ruffle some feathers while breaking down barriers? We didn’t think so. With every sip, this ‘80s-inspired mug reminds its owner to never stop being vocal and to stand up for what’s right.
We LOVE this wine company so much we brought it back fromlast year’s list. Unapologetically Refreshing Oregon Rosé. Don’t underestimate pink. She is feminine, fun, ardent and serious; and she owns it. She is serious about making progress, passionate about equality for women and she balances bright acidity with soft, subtle red fruit. You can also join the #GetNasty Wine Clubto enjoy 10% off this wine and 50% off ground shipping of six bottles or more. Now that’s an opportunity for some zoom wine sessions with your Galentines!
And, of course, here at Lovability we’ve got you covered for Galentine’s Day gift ideas. Whether you’re alone, with that special someone or just just looking out for a friend who needs a little extra TLC, here's a self-love kis from ourBundle & Save Collectionto choose from.
5.The Get Wet Packby Lovability ($47)
This specially-curated bundle featuresThe WaterSlydeaquatic stimulator, a fab sex toy alternative and your ultimate self love – self care device. It’s a body safe, hands-free device that attaches to the head of your bathtub faucetfor maximum bath time pleasure and fun – solo or with a partner. Now available in 3 vibrant colors – Pink Pleasure, Aqua Maureen and Va Va Violet, we can’t stop gushing about this favorite bath time friend, and you won’t either!
Add in a Bomb Balm Arousal Balmand it’s a SRSLY awesome gift for YOU or your BFFs. This kit includes everything to get you wetter – in and out of the bath!
We hope you love our Galentine’s Day gifts reco’s. If you have some you’d love to share, drop it in the comments below or share on IG@LovabilityInc. And whether you’re celebrating Galentine’s Day, Valentine’s Day, or both, enjoy yourself — and remember to practice self-love all year round!
Natural vaginal smells are just that - NATURAL. It's time to empower ourselves to clean and refresh in natural and body-safe ways that won't cause harm!
No one feels 100% all the time and there’s no shame in seeking out help to improve your mental health. With nearly 1-in-4 U.S. women on antidepressants, let's work together to break down the stigmas of mental health, including what happens in the bedroom.
It’s completely normal to be self-conscious about your vulva. The truth is that all vulva’s are beautiful andvajestic. Here are some tips to help you get to know and honor your vulva.
